What we're learning in public.
What we got wrong, and what pleasure literacy looks like next. New entry roughly every two weeks.
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Read Weekly Field Notes on Substack · $9/mo →The Best Books About Sex for Men.
Six books worth reading on female pleasure, arousal and intimacy, what each one is actually good at, and which to start with depending on what you are trying to fix.
Aftercare Isn't Optional Soft Stuff.
The minutes after sex shape whether there is a next time. Resolution as a stage of arousal, what the long game actually notices, and the four anti-patterns that quietly cost you.
Clitoris: An Anatomy-First Guide.
Most men were taught to guess. Here is what the anatomy and the research actually say about clitoral stimulation – location, pressure, tempo, and the mistakes that stall her arousal.
Most of the Clitoris Is Internal.
The visible part is about a tenth of the organ. Full clitoral anatomy, why medical textbooks were wrong until 2005, and the three things the real structure changes about how you touch it.
The Coital Alignment Technique.
One position. Two body adjustments. The single highest-yield technique for clitoral orgasm during intercourse, taught in 1988 and almost completely forgotten since.
How to stop being in your head during sex.
The mental loop that yanks you out at the worst moment, why willpower makes it worse, and what to do instead.
Sexual performance anxiety in men.
The vicious circle, the four myths that keep men in it, and a stack of small moves that actually break it.
How to talk to your girlfriend about sex.
The conversation most couples skip until something breaks. When to have it, where, and exactly how to start.
The dead-bedroom reset.
A 30-day framework for couples whose sex life quietly stopped. Not a willpower lecture. A staged sequence.
How long should foreplay last?
The number isn't random, it maps to a measured arousal cycle. What 20 minutes actually does, and why most men cut it short.
How to tell if she really came.
The honest signs (and the misleading ones), why she might be faking, and the better question to ask in the first place.
Spontaneous vs responsive desire.
"She's just not in the mood" usually isn't what you think. Two desire styles, two playbooks. Most men only know one.
Why doesn't my girlfriend orgasm with me?
The most-asked question men type into Google at 11pm. A direct, non-judgmental answer for the man searching for what's actually going on.
The orgasm gap.
95% of men finish, only ~50% of women do. Why the gap exists, how big it really is, and what to do about it from the inside of an actual relationship.